I’m not naturally one of those calm and relaxed people who will tell you to turn the other cheek. I box, lift weights and get angry like anyone else.
But it’s the control that I’ve learnt that makes a huge difference.
The biggest problem with anger is that it leads to assumptions. Too many people lose their temper and begin to make absurd claims and perform insane actions.
Take a jealous boyfriend as an example. I know guys who have smashed things up that they needed and arranged fights with people just because their girlfriend stayed out an hour extra.
The truth is, you don’t know the truth. Lets say that your Wife hasn’t rang you in 24 hours even though you asked her to.
You start going crazy, calling her every name under the sun over voicemail, flipping tables, you even text a girl you know asking for her to come over in a whirlwind of angry revenge sex.
10 minutes later your wife texts you and says, “calm down, I didn’t feel like speaking, my Dad died last night and I wanted to be with my Mom and Brother.”
Now you feel like the biggest idiot in the world.
Not only that but you now have to deal with everything you’ve done once the dust settles.
Your Wife is going to ask why you reacted the way you did, then ask herself if she wants to be with someone like this. Then don’t forget you were about to cheat and now have to either live with that guilt or tell your Wife about it.
Whatever happens, you don’t know the truth.
Three Brain Types
We have three different brain types. In basic form, one is smart (neo-cortex), one is an idiot (reptilian brain) and one is that friend who won’t do anything themselves but they’ll convince the weaker friend to do it (emotional brain).
During times that increase our anger, we have to remember that two areas of our brain are going to fall apart and act like idiots.
It’s up to you to relax and rationalize everything.
Take a look at these examples below.
- The driver in front of you is driving extremely slowly, you begin to get agitated. After 5 minutes of this you overtake them, block them from passing and march towards the car. Once you get closer you see that it’s a couple with a newborn in the back. Now you feel terrible and want to punch yourself in the face for reacting the way you did.
- You see that your best friends name is in your girlfriends phone after a quick glance. You lose it and start screaming at your girlfriend and leave some terrible messages to your best friend. 5 minutes later she can’t hide it anymore because you won’t give it up. She tells you that they’ve been planning a surprise party for you and even shows you all of the messages to prove it. Now you may be left with no girlfriend, no best friend and no surprise party.
One thing you have to always keep in mind is that the possibilities are endless. The moment we jump to conclusion and let our minds wonder, the worst case scenarios begin to circulate.
This just makes us angrier and forces us to do things that under normal conditions we simply wouldn’t dream of doing.
People have spent 25 years in jail for singular outbursts that they never thought they’d do. With a simply piece of training, they could’ve enjoyed a long life and avoided jail all together.
No matter how angry something is making you, try your hardest to wait until you have all of the information before you make decisions. Reacting in the moment is a very primitive thing to do. You never hear anyone say I wish I didn’t keep my cool and handle that really well.
But you’ll consistently hear people say, I wish I hadn’t done that, but it was the heat of the moment.
It’s like this Wheel Of Fortune board below. Most people get something filthy because they don’t have all of the evidence/pieces yet.
If you were to wait a few moments you’d easily see that it’s LUCK BE IN THE AIR TONIGHT.
Be patient people, be rational and make less assumptions.