Getting angry is a part of life, but getting angry around your family/friends is not a smart move. No one wants to alienate themselves even if certain people really do deserve a blasting for their actions.
The first thing you have to understand about anger is that it usually signifies something is wrong within the body. Your diet is usually poor, you’re consuming too much alcohol, masturbating too much, not exercising enough. All of these things will cause a hormonal imbalance and make you prone to mood swings and outbursts.
Therefore my first piece of advice would be to clean your lifestyle up. This may take some time, so there’s something that you can do in the meantime.
One thing you can do is be present. Watch yourself as you live. This sounds extremely spiritual and ludicrous, but it works. For example, someone once left a cupboard open above my head, I shot up quickly and received that real intense pain that ignites anger immediately. At that moment I thought about what I was about to do and controlled myself. I internally talked myself out of it and realized that I was partly to blame and the pain would eventually go away.
This feeling was great. Not blowing the individual away with an onslaught of curse words and loud noises was refreshing. It kind of felt like a new level of maturity. I prevented myself from getting angry, saved myself from falling out with someone and went about my normal day straight after that.
The best question to ask yourself is….Would you talk to your boss like that?
For most people the answer is no, so why do we shout and scream at others?
Most people have no problem losing it around their partners, yet if their boss rang at that exact moment, then they’d hush everything down and act as if life was perfect and they were the nicest person living.
Treating everyone with that same respect is important in life, besides life really is too short for arguments, no one wins. You’re simply wasting your time over something that will soon be forgotten or lower it’s level of importance, so why bother?
That huge argument you had with your sibling about kicking you in the back of the car aged 8, does it still bother you? No of course not because it’s irrelevant and so are most arguments in life. Think long term, if it’s not going to matter tomorrow, then don’t make a meal of it.
One trick Abraham Lincoln used, was to write a letter to those that angered him when his anger was at it’s peak. He’d express all of his concerns, issues and emotions in these letters, place them in a letter, put a stamp on them and then place them in his desk draw.
A week later he’d open the letter and see if he still felt the same way. 99.9% of the time he didn’t, he’d got over it. Therefore he just put the letter in the bin and forgot everything. The 0.1% of occasions where he was still angry, he’d simply put the letter back in his draw and read it a week later hoping that his anger would eventually subside.
The lesson here is that anger doesn’t last. Just like we said above, the anger you feel in the moment will pass in an hour, a day, or even a week. The trick is to get through that initial stage without doing anything stupid. Learn to react with your logical brain and not your emotional or primitive brain which just wants to lash out and scream. We’re intelligent human beings at the end of the day not animals. Do you know how many people wish they could turn back time and control their anger over something trivial? Probably millions. You could walk into any prison in the world and find thousands of people regretting what they did due to anger every day of their lives.
Don’t make this mistake! Control is maturity and control over yourself is the highest form of life.