Being able to persuade others is a part of daily life. Each day we deal with other humans. Our interactions, deals and conversations are not with trees, animals or materials, everything we do revolves around how we deal with each other. Of course someone may have a conversation with their dog, but it hardly affects their day. Having a conversation with your boss however could have dramatic consequences both good and bad.
This is why it’s key that you can influence others. If you can convince people that your ideas are correct, that they can trust you and that you’re someone they should associate with, then without doubt, your life is going to drastically improve.
In this post we’ll teach you how to influence those around you. We’ll show you the techniques and cognitive biases that will change your interactions for the better.
How To Become More Persuasive
Likability is of course how likable you are. This is easy to gauge, you just ask the question do most people like you, or hate you? Even if people dislike you for jealous reasons, they still dislike you. This means that you may need to change your behavior in order to improve your life.
Likability is broken down into 3 percentages:
60% if people like you
30% if people approve of your methods
10% if people like what you’re offering
This shows us that likability relies heavily on you and your personality. People may like your assets, your life or even your job title, but eventually all that will matter is whether they like you or not. Remember this with each interaction you have, the more people that like you, the easier life becomes due to trust.
- Congruent Body Language
Body language as a whole is important. But congruent body language is the best way to ensure trust. You cannot be talking like a confident man, but showing submissive body language. You cannot be telling someone that you like them, yet you’re standing too close and intimidating them.
Humans are very good at picking up on lies and deceit. Knowing whether someone was lying or not, may have saved our lives thousands of years ago. This has enabled us to evolve to a point where subtle body language signals can make us dislike someone.
If you’re going to become more persuasive, study body language and make sure everything matches to the message you’re trying to get across.
Body language is great, but it won’t influence top level people since they too are educated in this subject, meaning they know what you’re trying to do. This is where we see PASE.
Your job is to decide what type of person someone is early on in an interaction. Talking too much will annoy an actionable person. Getting straight to the point may alienate a social person. Being too aggressive may be too much for an emotional person, but perfect for a practical person.
Once you learn how to decipher individuals quickly, you will find that more and more people want to associate with you and what you’re selling, due to your universal traits.
Scarcity means rare or in limited supply. This can make people want something more. Scarcity can work for attracting women, selling products, making friends and so on.
If you can explain to people that either your product, service, time or any other feature is in limited supply, then they are more likely to follow your advice or do as you’d like.
No one wants to miss out on anything that’s rare. Rare means getting something that most others don’t have, and this is a quality that humans desire. Telling a business that they will be featured on the main cover makes them feel special. Telling friends that you’re busy makes them eager to see you. Telling women that you haven’t got time for them right now makes them want you more.
Scarcity shouldn’t be used to manipulate others, but you should never forget the power it has when trying to get people to do what you want.
Reciprocity is the act of returning a favor, gesture or action. Many companies give out free trial products, or free information in order to gain peoples trust. They’re trying to make these people lifetime customers.
Once we receive something from someone, or they do something for us, we feel obliged to return the act in equal proportion. This is highly useful when trying to become more persuasive. If you want people to follow you, listen to you or do as you say, then do something for them first.
Most people will recognize this act, and feel obligated to do something for you afterwards. Always do more than is expected of you, and you should receive more in return.
- Social Proof
It is adamant that you make a great first impression with everyone you meet. Humans are social creatures. We use others as reference points, and let their opinions alter our own.
If you’re a likable person, then others will naturally like you too. Social proof is where we follow the crowd, if everyone is doing it then we do too.
Building a great reputation is something that will truly work in your favor in life. Humans have an invisible network, one that gives us the information we need without realizing it.
Your aim should be to convince the masses or the most influential people. Once others see the people they admire, or the crowd persuaded by you, they will follow suit.
This works extremely well when it comes to women. Once a man is highly talked about among women, he will have a very easy time when trying to attract more.
Authority is someones perceived power/status. Take a police officer for example. If a police officer told you to move away from a building you’d probably take their word for it and expect the worst inside. If a random man wearing casual clothes told you the same thing, you’d probably think he was crazy and carry on as normal.
Having status as a leader or a respected source can work extremely well. If you want to convince people, then build credibility first. Sometimes this can be through association, such as taking a picture with a celebrity. Sometimes it can be as simple as a Doctor having their certificates displayed on their wall.
- Commitment & Consistency
Once someone commits to something, it’s hard to turn their head. However this can also work in your favor. Getting someone to say yes is all you need. Once you have that yes, get out of their. people feel obliged to back-up their word.
Getting someone to write something down also works in your favor. We’re most likely to carry something through when we write what it is down. This is why making a daily task list works so well.
A simple sign-up form, could be enough to get people on-board. Your aim should be to get people to commit to your ideas early and convincingly.
Whether your aim is to make more sales, attract women or make more friends, you cannot deny that persuasion is everything. Persuasion is not a form of manipulation, persuasion is simply using your social skills to your advantage.
Use the above processes until they become second nature. Once you become an expert you’ll be able to adapt quickly and match a persuasion technique to each individual situation.