Rather than including a scene setting introduction, I’ll instead give you the fatal mistake immediately, and then explain all of the different ways you can avoid making it in the following paragraphs.
The fatal mistake:
Treating women like the jackpot
This concept is very similar to placing women on a pedestal, or worshiping them like goddesses. In my opinion, this is one of the biggest flaws of modern men. Technology and various forms of media have enabled women to advertise themselves like never before, with the majority of men taking the bait.
Lets take a look at an example of men who believe they’ve found the jackpot.
This is from a personal friends Facebook account, and displays where men are going wrong. Firstly we have to establish something, the way to a woman’s heart is not through a comment on any social media platform. You may know someone who got their girlfriend this way, but there would’ve been many exceptions in this situation.
Secondly this is just a small snippet of the comments. By commenting on a girls photos you’re simply one of many. The only time this strategy ever worked was when social media/texting was first invented. After about 1 week of praise and endless comments, women got bored and stopped acknowledging them.
A comment is not going to make her want you, in fact it does the opposite. It makes you look thirsty. Think about how it looks when you comment on a girls photo. Does she picture you sat on a private jet going through your emails, but stopping briefly to check Facebook? Or do you think she pictures you as some pervy guy who’s got nothing better to do than scroll through her album with your hand down your pants?
Of course it’s the second one. There’s no good that can come from leaving comments on a girls photo, unless she never receives a single comment, but how many girls do you know, or are interested in that are in this scenario?
A Kid At Xmas
This is exactly how most men look to women when they encounter them for the first time in public. I’ve witnessed men pulling all kinds of facial expressions when a beautiful woman walks into a room. They’ll tap their friends, point in her direction and edge over to where she is, to try and get her attention.
This makes her feel like a celebrity and immediately rules you out of having any chance with her. She’s looking for the man who treats her as if she’s normal, the one who doesn’t start getting excited when she’s around. Acting as if you’ve been around beautiful women before is a powerful tool. Acting like a kid at Xmas however, will signal strongly that you’re not able to handle her.
In order to avoid making the fatal mistake with women, you must understand value comparison. Value comparison revolves around social value, but it works more as a side by side scale, rather than your overall standing in society.
Value comparison is how the woman measures herself up against you. If she believes that you’re more valuable than her, then she’ll chase you. If she see’s herself as more valuable than you, then you’ll either be friend-zoned or rejected.
This second scenario is the exact position you place yourself within when you view a woman as the jackpot. The moment you drape her in praise and compliments is the same moment that you lose her. Once she feels as though you’re chasing her, she loses interest.
Just think about the amount of men who have complimented her in that single day alone. With social media now added to the mix, it’s probably in the region of 50 compliments a day for any half decent looking woman. How can you expect to standout under these circumstances? Telling a woman that she’s beautiful when 20 other men already have, kind of takes away the impact before you’ve even opened your mouth.
You have to make it seem as though you’re unavailable to her. Not by pushing her away, but by upgrading yourself to a level she can’t reach. This in-turn will make her chase you. This method is called the scarcity bias, when something isn’t easy for us to obtain, it makes us want it more because it restricts our freedom. Men who hold this advantage are seen as rare which makes the entire situation work even more in their favor.
Everyone wants to go up in the world, whether that’s in terms of their job, physical health or in love. Very few people purposefully pick someone that they view as not as good as them. The only exception is with insecure people. For the majority though, upgrading is their main strategy. Everyone seeks someone they consider to be either on their level or above their level.
The quickest way to class yourself below someones level is through worship. Constant praise and various compliments will only place you in one spot, below the woman you’re trying to impress. In order to attract women, lay off the sucking up for a while, instead go and focus on upgrading yourself, until the woman you want compliments you, then you can return the favor if you wish.