how to deal with haters

I never really understood the saying “make someone feel like the most important person in the room” until I met one of my Dad’s friends around age 16.

We live in a busy world. Our phones want our attention, other people want our attention, advertisers, traffic, loud noises, bright lights, emails, pretty women and more.

It’s hard to stay focused sometimes during a basic conversation.

This is dopamine saturation at work. Things like televisions, mobile phones, laptops, games consoles and other exciting machines have overwhelmed our brains.

It’s created a situation where an engaging conversion is about as boring as watching paint dry.



At 16 years old, most people didn’t take me seriously. That spotty teenager with the up and down voice, I mean who’s going to listen to what he has to say? Especially in a room filled with grown men.

I was used to people turning away during my conversations, or switching off completely and starting a new conversation with someone else, I simply put it down to a respect system where young men and children sat at the bottom.

However, one day I started a conversation with my Dad’s friend, surrounded by men, in a busy bar.

The place was busy, it was loud, my voice was probably being drowned out somewhat and all of the grown men around me were vying for attention through their booming voices.

Yet, my Dad’s friend stayed focused on me. His eyes were locked on mine while I spoke, he didn’t turn his head, and he seemed to actually listen to every word, then responded accordingly.

Others were calling his name, perhaps walking in-between us, tapping him on the shoulder, but he wouldn’t disengage from what I was saying.

To be honest it was somewhat intimidating with a hint of shock. I’d never really seen anyone do this before, especially not to myself.

I really did feel like the most important person in the room and I felt as though what I said mattered.



The thing I left that conversation with above everything else, was respect for that man.

This is something that every man reading this post should open their eyes to, and see as a weapon they can use in their favor.

If I went away from that conversation with respect and a liking for this man, then imagine how many other people had this feeling when talking to him.

Had he landed big business deals in the past from this? Perhaps he was a salesman and clients worshipped the ground he walked on. Perhaps even women adored him due to this single trait.

Being liked and respected is essential to daily life. This doesn’t mean socially, although it’s beneficial. I’m talking about where it can get you in life.

You don’t have to suck up to others and place them on a pedestal, but it’s certainly wise to give them your full attention if they’re bothering to talk to you.


How To Use This

Put down your phone, forget about the world around you, ignore distractions, and remember that you can’t deal with everyone at once.

In some sense, you have to be cruel to be kind. Or to put it in a more accurate way, you have to be rude to be engaged.

This simple social trick could land you a job, could land you more clients, could wrap up that business deal, could make you that sale, could make you memorable, could get you the girl, could enable you to keep the girl and will earn you respect.

Use this for your girlfriend, your wife, your friends, the random person on the street, a colleague at work, a client and anyone else who’s asking for nothing more than your attention.

Next time someone starts a conversation with you, put everything to one side. Turn away from the TV and towards them. If your phone goes off, leave it. Focus on them and actually listen. You’ll be surprised at where it gets you. Even if they don’t show their joy at the time, they’ll definitely remember you because so few people can do this.

Your aim is to make every person you meet, feel like the most important person in the room, in the street or in your life at that exact moment in time.

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