You’re out with a group of friends, all dressed well, all looking your best and all in a good mood. So why should people notice you? Why should the gorgeous girl at the bar choose you over everyone else?
Going out with one or two friends is easier. People have to engage with you since there’s so few of you. Being in a larger group however increases your chances of being ignored. There’s more competition. This means a lower chance of being spoken to directly, or standing out in the eyes of attractive women.
In this post we’ll give you 9 social tricks to grab the spotlight. These tips will make people leave that night talking about you!
How To Standout In Your Social Group
Leaving & Entering The Room
Not a lot of people know how important entering and exiting a room can be. We get 7-21 seconds to make a first impression, most of which is spent walking through a door.
If you want to immediately assert your dominance, displaying your leadership qualities, then walk through the door first. Once you’ve done this, hold the door open for everyone in your group and see them in.
This is also polite. Who isn’t going to be impressed by a man who enters a room in a confident manner and makes sure all of his friends are safely inside? This is extremely powerful when there are women in your group, your manners are amplified somewhat.
When leaving a room/building, perform the exact same action if possible. You never know who’s path you will cross again in the future. This could be later in that night, or a few weeks later. A good first impression is one of the most powerful things we can have on our side.
We’ve all had the unfortunate situation where there aren’t enough seats, a table is too long or you arrive late and can’t get into the chat. It feels awkward. You find yourself leaning towards where the action is happening trying to get involved. Every joke is missed, and the words “What?” are more like your catchphrase for the night.
One way to avoid this is to think about your seating position before anyone else. Sitting at a table is merely sitting at a table to most people. A smart and social man knows the importance of this seemingly insignificant step. He will make sure he’s placed right in the middle of the group where he can be fully engaged.
The people around you will recognize this, and give you the leader label. Look at any cover of a movie, or band. The main character/singer is always in the middle. People associate the center with the most important person. Use this to your advantage and grab your seat early.
Chances are, friends that you’re with will know or meet other people that night, and bring them over to meet you. Be the first to greet them, say hello, shake hands and display your dominance. No one remembers the man who’s sitting in the corner, too shy to interact with anyone.
Of course this doesn’t mean pushing people out of the way to shake-hands first. But it combats human hesitation. Most people will simply raise their hand, say Hi from a distance and so on. If you’re the one confident enough to immediately greet the new individual, then people will notice this. Others in the group will also see you as the group leader which will work in your favor in the future.
This doesn’t mean you should run around the room like a child. It simply means that sticking to one place all night shouldn’t be something you do. In the animal kingdom, dominance is asserted based on how much territory you own. Using this information, any man can increase his power by moving around.
This could be as simple as going to the bar to get the drinks. Going over to say hi to friends and so on. It also places you in the spotlight to those around you. It’s much easier to notice the man walking past, than the man sat down.
Alpha Male Body Language
Alpha male body language works extremely well when trying to standout in a group. Alpha male body language works in many different ways, but anyone can deploy it. Alpha male body language can be displayed in the following ways.
Tapping your friends on the back.
Putting your arm around people in photos.
Spreading yourself wide. Arms around the back of the seat, legs open wide and so on.
Standing tall with your arms stretched out wide on the bar.
Holding eye contact for the longest amount of time with everyone you meet.
Opposing features is a great way to standout. It works based on the fact that humans love rarity. If someone has something that no one else does, then they’re going to be remembered.
If all of your friends are clean shaven, then grow a beard. If everyone is wearing suits, wear a leather jacket combination and use the bad-boy image, get the idea?
Dress The Best
This one’s obvious. In the book Disrupt Yourself by Jay Samit, he talks about disrupting the market by creating a product that makes everything else obsolete. He then goes on to say that appearance can be the best way to dominate a marketplace. Sometimes you don’t have to be better than your competitor, you just need to be more visually appealing.
The same works when it comes to clothing. Sometimes the easiest way to standout is to simply look better than everyone else. If you’ve ever worried about being overdressed, then you’ve never been told about the authority bias. People treat those dressed better than them with respect, it’s a natural human reaction. We associate those in the finest clothes as the most important people.
Assert Dominance Early
Sometimes standing out begins before you even go out. Inviting everyone to yours before for a few drinks, arranging transport and the venue, will show others that you’re a leader. You’ll discover that your friends begin to treat you differently when you take the lead role.
This consequently rubs off on everyone else. If your friend perceive you as the leader, then everyone you meet is going to come to the same conclusion.
Find Your Outlier Quality
An outlier male is someone who stands out from other men due to a range of differences. An outlier quality is a single thing that makes you different from other men.
For some men this is dancing. For some it’s being ridiculously good-looking or in shape. Whatever yours is, use it to your advantage. If you can dance. have a great sense of humor or a muscular body, don’t hide it. This one simple trait could just be your key to social dominance.