how to deal with haters

It’s easy to want success and then to get caught up in the glory. The cars, the clothes and the women just look so good.

Instant gratification encourages us to get these things immediately, but success is one of those areas of life where you can’t simply want and then have. A certain amount of work must take place prior to the glory occurring.

We live in a society where the good life is glorified. Just think of music videos, Instagram celebrities, films and adverts. All of these features contain expensive items, beautiful people and good times.

But one secret they don’t let you see is the grind. We all study the glory and forget about what went on behind the scenes.



Success is truly like an iceberg. Everyone sees the here and now, but isn’t interested in how they got there.

The people who end up emulating the success of their hero’s and idols, are those who went deeper into their history than a year or two.

Knowing when an actor’s first movie was won’t help you. Knowing when a model finally burst on the scene isn’t going to leave you any clues. Knowing when that singer you love finally had their first big hit isn’t going to tell you anything about how they got there.

The glory is highly addictive, this is why so many movies use it prominently and skip over the boring bits.

Take the Wolf Of Wall Street as the perfect example.

In the film, Jordan Belfort the main character, decides to start his own company with his business partner.

5 minutes later they’re in the biggest office imaginable with 100’s of members of staff and millions in the bank.

The part of the story where the grind takes place isn’t highlighted. Nobody wants to see this, we simply want to get to the good part because it’s more appealing.

It’s like the old makeovers you see in movies. They decide to fix something up, the music begins and an entire house is renovated in 2 minutes tops. In reality this took 6 months, their wives left them and they went bankrupt twice.



This has created a culture where many of us believe that success simply happens overnight. Since we’re not exposed to the hard work side of things, it’s easy to just expect success because you’ve seen it and want it.

Can you imagine someone like Drake having a music video where there weren’t women, cars and expensive items involved?

People in the modern era tune out as soon as talk or a suggestion towards the grind begins.

Tai Lopez is another perfect example. He went viral on YouTube after posting a video of him with his Lamborghini.

Now he posts videos of himself in private jets, with the most famous girls and living a flamboyant lifestyle. If truth be told, he probably isn’t as crazy about materialistic things as his videos suggest.

So why is he posting them? Because he’s a smart guy, he understands the addiction to the good life. People don’t want to worry about the work it’s going to take. They just see a Ferrari, a jet and girls and think this is what I want.


Getting Caught In Medusa’s Gaze

We’ve all heard the story about Medusa in Greek mythology. A creature who turned people to stone when they made eye contact with her.

Well the good life is just like that. Yes it provides encouragement, yes you need some level of exposure to it in order to understand barometers, but too much of it can turn you to stone.

What I mean by this is that it’ll catch you in its sparkly gaze. The champagne bottles, lingerie models and fast cars are highly addictive.

Once you focus on these things it’s hard to look away and realize how to get there. A lot of people are living vicariously through successful people. They watch them living a good life and get their fix from this.

Dopamine is a reward chemical in the brain. Dopamine sky-rockets when we see videos such as Tai Lopez with a Lamborghini, or drake in a Bentley in Started From The Bottom.

This dopamine release is enough for us to feel satisfied. We’ve seen the good life and we feel as though it was us that got there.

This vicious cycle continues without you ever reaching this level of success for yourself.


Distance Yourself

You have to give yourself the occasional exposure to a better life. Just make sure you don’t immerse yourself in it.

Once you’ve had that exposure its work and study time. If you want Lebron’s life, then you need to look at what he was doing at 15, not now.

You can’t relate to what he’s doing now. Of course seeing him train would be eye opening, but TV, magazines and social media won’t show you this because it’s not the glory side.

The grind before the fame and success is where you need to spend the majority of your time. Success leaves breadcrumbs, the challenge is finding them.

The world doesn’t make it easy, because like we said there’s no demand for hard work and tough times, people are simply interested in seeing the glory and getting their dopamine fix. Just think of how many girls are pretending to live the life of a Kardashian without being anywhere near this level.

If you distance yourself from the good life, you give yourself nothing to be distracted by. You’ll know what needs to be done and you’ll be more motivated to change things.

If you live vicariously through others you do nothing more than watch them succeed. Don’t let the desire for success distract you from the work that’s needed!

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